SXSW Report : Day 5

There was music going on that Sunday, but I opted for something a little different.

Three words. Fucking Roller Derby.

A couple of us spent most of the afternoon sipping some margharita’s and red bull coolers. The Meligrove Band were there, Eric from V2, Endearing Records and Ryder from White Whale. I checked the local weekly and found an ad for Roller Derby. The Rhinestone Cowgirls were taking on the Holy Rollers (both from that A&E show about Roller Derby) at the Austin Convention Centre later on that night.

When in rome….

Here’s how it works. 10 girls start on the track, 5 from each team. 8 girls start skating together in a pack around the circular track. Then, the remaining 2 skaters start a little behind them. Their objective is to skate past the pack, then lap as many opposing players as possible, in one minute. And without getting killed.

Players get points based on how many people they pass. And there are 4 quarters (with live bands during halftime).

Before the match, a woman walks around with raffle tickets for ‘Spank Alley’. If your number was drawn, you and 9 other people were allowed to sit in Spank Alley, located just off the course on one of the turns. When a player is penalized a punishment wheel is spun for them. When the wheel lands on ‘Spank’, all the people in Spank Alley go up to the course with Fly Swatters and start smacking them on the track. Then the penalized player skates by them bent over and gets her punished.

The ‘Reverse Spank’ is the opposite. And the pillow fight always turns into a brawl. Seriously, I have never seen women kick the crap out of each other like this.

Rumour has it that Toronto and Hamilton are setting up teams….

Event Program