A VERY QUICK GUIDE TO TOUR LIFE
– Pissing in bottles whilst in a van is never a good idea.
– Bring hand sanitizer
– Paracetamol/painkillers are just as important as clean pants.
– Its not cool to shout “Das Farty Party” around germany, nor any other country for that matter.
– A strong playlist and a pair of headphones can get you through any van drive.
– Border police do NOT have a sense of humour, they do NOT appreciate drug mule jokes.
– An Alan Partridge audio tape is the perfect breakaway from listening to music.
– If you’re lucky enough to have a plug socket/power in the van, make sure to bring a ‘four-way’ to avoid fall-outs and black eyes over who gets the one plug.
– American customs love The Beach Boys
– Flatulent guys should always sit in the back seat
– Don’t speak to the lad who’s just woken up for quite a while
– Theres always going to be a ‘Tour song’, don’t burn it out too fast.
– Always be early, never on time.
– Van games are essential, the more creative the better.
– Coffee is a drug, be careful.
– Video Games (Fifa) are a drug, be careful.
– “It’s medicinal” is not an excuse
– Cyclists in amsterdam will not stop for you